It has been a few years. I cannot even believe those words as my hands type them. A few years since I have quieted enough to sit and capture thoughts on a blog. So much has happened. So much life... so quickly passed.
But now I pause. Years later to ponder and sort and capture. I am driven by the challenge to not let a single word spoken by my Holy God fall to the ground. Not one word.
When 2014 came sweeping... I sought the Lord for a focus word or theme for the year. The word He gave me was "SLOW." Even the thought of the word caused a skip in my heart... a longing in my inmost being. What is slow? As I shared with friends that the Lord had been whispering the word SLOW to me... they questioned... does that mean not hanging out with others as much, or sleeping in, or limiting commitments? All I could answer was that I had no idea. The Lord gave me the word and I would have to wait for Him to show me what it meant.
Slow does not come naturally or easily for me. Perhaps that is why I couldn't figure out what it meant.... but I knew that I longed for it. I have never lived slow. As an extreme extravert with super high energy my entire life has been lived fast and full. A blank space on the calendar felt like a time slot that was going to be wasted if I didn't fill it. I purposed to squeeze the most out of each day... as if it was a lemon waiting to be juiced and I didn't want to waste a single drop.
For most of my life this has served me very well. But, and I am really not sure when - it just happens doesn't it?-, my life began to be filled with all things urgent. And by filled I mean bursting. A complete day, packed with movement and activity would often leave me at the end of the day realizing I had neglected some of the most beautiful important things that I desperately wanted to dedicate time to. This cycle continued (When I say cycle... Picture cyclone) and when the Lord spoke the word SLOW to me again and again... I received it but I had no idea what to do with it. I picture here the feeling George Washington would have if we were to travel back in time and give him a cell phone. What is this? How do I use it? What is it good for?
And for the first 5 months of this year life spun in such a frenzy. My heart felt unfamiliar even bothered by the word SLOW. It taunted me with promise of deep breaths and smelling roses and laughing at a dinner table with dear friends into the night. It eluded me. My heart cried out to the Lord. Please do not let me miss what you want to teach me. Please show me why the word SLOW and how... how Lord?
Then the Heavenly Father, in His perfect timing orchestrated what I am calling a life half-time. Now I will be the first to admit that I am not very knowledgeable about sports. I like sports. I love to watch my kids play sports. However, I have never been on a sports team and my understanding of the rules are pretty limited. But I do understand the concept of half-time. Half time is the name given to the interval between two halves of a match. It exists mainly to give competitors a brief rest from the first half and allow them to recover. It also gives them a chance to re-group, to evaluate how play is going, and to adjust plans if necessary for the final half.
The Lord has given me a half-time. In June we were given the opportunity to relocate to Costa Rica for a 6 month assignment with Mac's work. Without question this time in Costa Rica has been planned by the Lord... to give us a life half-time. Average life expectancy for women in the US is 81 years old. If that statistic plays out for me, I am a smudge over the halfway mark. I believe the Lord has called me at this half-way mark to a time of rest, of recovery and to re-group. He has provided a chance to step away from home, family, friends, commitments....and planted me, along with my top human priorities, in a place completely new. It's my chance to evaluate how things have gone in the first half and to seek Him for the second half.
He has brought me here to teach me how to SLOW.
Most would have heard Him and learned while managing everyday life. Not me. Jesus knew He would have to set me in a "time-out" so I could focus, hear and apply what He wanted to tell me.
I am two months into my "time-out" and my heart is overflowing with the beauty and absolute brilliance of SLOW.
The resurrection my blogging is my attempt to capture all that my Heavenly Father speaks to me...
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